The best is already here!

Do you often miss recognising opportunity and end up complaining about some of the best things that happen to you?

AN author friend called to seek advice on a film script being offered to him. His dilemma on whether to accept it or not made him call me for some hard talk and frank advice.

His was a strange dilemma, one I couldn't understand initially. Here he was being offered a dream project, so why was he dilly dallying about signing the dotted line?! After some probing, I understood his hesitation; with his first book, he is well known as a romantic fiction writer. Though happy with his success, he has tried in vain to shrug off the epithet since he is clear he wants to be an opinion maker and write more serious stuff.

The more he kicks against it the more it comes back to him with renewed strength. The more he protests he goes beyond romance writing, the more the press revels in attaching the word to his name like an exalted title. Now the problem with the movie was that it too was what they now popularly call a romcom (romantic comedy) and taking it on would further establish him in the genre he is seeking to sidestep!

As a dispassionate observer, I could see he had been established neatly in a genre and was on his way to accruing gains from the positioning. But the man was actively trying to escape his own destiny! How could he be sure he would stand to gain as much in another field? What if he kicks close the door opened for him now, never to have another held open again? Or at least not one that would lead him to the right places?

On the other hand, one could argue, how would he know his potential in the other field till he tried his hand at it? And self-help gurus tell us that in life there are no gains without taking risks! Who is to know? Should he follow his head or heart?

The problem is that sometimes we end up kicking and protesting against things that are the biggest blessings for us. We do not appreciate their value till it is too late. The other day a bureaucrat friend was protesting under the burden of a new project and the stress of increased interactions on a daily basis with the big bosses. His immediate boss was on leave, with the result all the boss' work and interactions had fallen to his lot. Whoops! And the man was actually complaining and wilting under the burden. I asked him if this wasn't what he always wanted. Yes, he said, but not "this" way! Come on, you cannot dictate the manner in which you achieve your desire! Here was his golden opportunity to prove his worth, or he should declare himself a failure and never dream again!

Indeed, sometimes opportunity can come knocking on the door and you may ignore it, mistaking it for some unwanted visitor! But again that doesn't mean you answer every knock expecting Opportunity to be standing outside.

Quite often later in life we realise that in the middle of some of our most beautiful moments we were busy protesting and looking for something else. Seldom do we stop, look around and bless the present moment. Interestingly, in our front page piece today, Prahlad Kakkar's tip to achieve happiness is to stop pursuing greater glory or pleasures and to focus on simpler things. Kunal Vijaykar too offers a similar tip, asking people to chase their imagination rather than other people's jobs!

Another friend who was inordinately worried about her son's education at every stage, when asked if she was happy now her son had returned after post graduation abroad, said, "I am very worried about his job now!" We are always worrying about the next thing rather than enjoying the present moment! What about being glad for what we get and have in hand rather than pining for what is beyond reach?

Would you say that is a shortsighted view? Maybe it is, but maybe true happiness lies in the here and now, rather than in chasing whimsical, effervescent butterflies! If you let your body and mind follow the rhythm of time and allow yourself to flow along with life, your instinctive choices are almost always bound to be the right ones.

Just be sure to take responsibility for your own choices and not turn around to blame the one who helped you with some advice if things don't turn out as expected. Maybe what you didn't expect is the happier choice for you…who knows?

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